I have decided that I am going to start replacing the word “Fuck” with the word “Thank” in all conversation.

There is no good reason for this other for my own personal enjoyment.

In my head, whenever I say “Thank You” only I will know what I actually mean. I can tell someone to “Get Thanked,” or to “Go Thank themselves,” and with my simple word substitution I will mean something far worse than what they think.

Not only that, but it even still works as a single sentence, “Thank the thanking thanker.”

Or maybe, “I really want to Thank her.”

The possibilities are endless, and it will all be my only little secret.