In no certain order, since order really does not matter and this is all purely hypothetical, I am going to create a numbered list of the criteria. Because I can.

1. Must be, at least, a libertarian. I am no fan of the government, and there is no way I could ever find myself with a liberal, conservative, statist, et al. I say libertarian with a little l, because the party itself has been hijacked by conservatives and has lost its principles.
2. Must be cute. Not hot, just cute. Dating hotties leads to nothing but trouble, it is a fact.
3. Must be shorter than me. I am not very tall, around 5’10″, but I don’t want a woman taller than me. Doesn’t have to be a lot shorter, just a little bit.
4. Must not have a problem with my smoking. i don’t care if she smokes, but i do. I’ll never do it in the house, and I may give it up again some day, but for now, I smoke.
5. Must not want to live together. I am done with that. I want to have my space and my time. We can have our time together, but I want time to me.
6. Not living together means not having kids together. I have two. She can have some as well. I don’t need any more.
7. Must live within 45 miles of me. This is pretty self explanatory.
8. Must be a geek. Everything coming up will pretty much relate back to this qualifier.
9. Must get my random esoteric attempts at humor through references to television shows, books, comics, graphic novels, video games, movies, history, whatever I can string together. Now, I am not saying I am anywhere near as bad as, oh, say, Dennis Miller. Than man can find a way to relate Rat Basketball at COSI to Hannibal crossing the Alps. I am not that bad. Well, maybe close, but not THAT bad.
10. Must be a gamer. By a gamer, I don’t mean, “Oh, did you play that new Cooking MaMa on the Wii?” I mean a gamer. PS3 or 360, I don’t care which, but we can get together and play some Halo or COD over the network and kick some serious ass. It would definitely be a lot of fun.
11. This isn’t necessarily a “must” but a “would be nice.” EVE player. I love that MMORPG. It is by far the best one out there for its sandbox style, single server, and actual in game consequences. I am not saying we would have to be in the same corporation or alliance. Hell, if she were in a Merc corp and they war decced us, then I would expect her to try her best to make my pod go plop, but just having someone who can enjoy that game as much as I do would be awesome.

Ok, so, 11 little things. Not really too much, right? I am sure that my perfect woman must be out there somewhere. Hell, I don’t even have an age requirement.