There is no good reason for this other for my own personal enjoyment.

In my head, whenever I say “Thank You” only I will know what I actually mean. I can tell someone to “Get Thanked,” or to “Go Thank themselves,” and with my simple word substitution I will mean something far worse than what they think.

Not only that, but it even still works as a single sentence, “Thank the thanking thanker.”

Or maybe, “I really want to Thank her.”

The possibilities are endless, and it will all be my only little secret.

NO TIP FOR YOU!

Also, I had the conversation after the jump with a friend on YIM about it. Good stuff. I love that girl.

Me @ 12:49
well, seriously
if i had singles, i would have given her 1
if she brought to the car, 2
if she brought to the car, was hot (definitely not) climbed into the seat next to me, and sucked my dick, then she could have the 10

Her @ 12:52
MIKE!

Me @ 12:52
what?
its ok. i would video tape it so its porno and not prostitution

Her @ 12:53
michael!

Me @ 12:53
$10 was greater than what my food cost
also, you dont REALLY believe i would do that, now do you?

Her @ 12:54
no but STILL!!!

Me @ 12:54
what?

Her @ 12:55
$10, that’s not enough

Total Awesomesauce.

To that end, I think I know what, at this point in time, my idea of “the perfect woman” is. Nothing too shallow, I hope, but probably very universal.

Naturally, physical attractiveness is important. No matter how much someone says they do not care about looks, the fact of the matter is 90% of our impressions about people are based on appearance. This is genetic, of course. We have certain qualities that we find to be ideal in a mate and we think should compliment our own genes and help create better progeny. (It’s evolution, kids. Looking for transitionary forms? Your own children are transitionary forms. Deal with it.) Barring physical appearance, since we really don’t have that much control over it in the first place, what else is important?

Intelligence. There are many people who think that just learning something new is intelligence. Hate to be a hater (no I don’t) but that is not intelligence. That is knowledge. Intelligence is the ability to take the knowledge you have, assimilate it, and apply it to tasks at hand, find the relevant links between the different types of knowledge you have gained, and use in to further the knowledge of everyone else. Spouting facts is knowledge. Using those facts to find something new is intelligence.

Surprisingly enough, I honestly think that is it. Except for her ability to deal with my inane rhetoric, but that is a skill that few, if any, will ever acquire.

I find a new reasons daily to say, “I’m just a computerguy. You ask me questions about supevisory things and it makes me want to run to my MacBook and hide in some RPG code…”

Hopefully, this will end soon.

We all know that smoking is a very expensive habit. The government imposes more taxes on tobacco, which causes more people to quit, which means the taxes are increased, and on and on, right? Currently, it is around $5 for a pack of premium cigarettes around here. So, my idea.

When you quit smoking, set up a daily transfer on your bank’s website for the amount of a pack of cigarettes from your checking account to a savings account.

If you smoke a pack a day, that would be $35 in a week. In one year, a very nice new plasma t.v. ($1820).

I am not saying that if you smoke you should quit, I don’t care what you do, but if you are quitting, I think it looks like a good motivator.

The short of it, because I know that no one wants to read a rambling discourse about the morons who work for Dominos Pizza, is:

1. I called Dominos to order a pizza for the boys and me.
2. I placed my order.
3. The asshat¹ asked for my last name.
4. I said Tice.
5. The asshat asked me to spell it.
6. I said T-I-C-E, Tango, India, Charlie, Echo.
7. The asshat said P?
8. I said, no, T-I-C-E, Tango, India, Char…
9. The asshat interrupted me and said that means nothing to him.
10. I said T T T as in Tango in a very loud and forceful manner.
11. The asshat said 15 minutes
12. I pressed End on my phone and said Fucking Dumbass.
13. The asshat said what did you say
14. Woops, my phone had not finished hanging up.
15. I called Papa Johns and got more pizza at the same price without cancelling my order with Dominos.

Yup, I win at life.

Case in point, about 10 minutes ago I was unloading some furniture from my truck into the storage building. A young teen girl and two young children were walking down the road and the teen said “Hi” as I lifted a heavy TV stand. Slightly strained from the effort I said Hi back. Today, in the MOV, it is raining. As I came back out, I offered the three of them a ride. They were soaked and I just wanted to help, because I live more or less in the middle of nowhere. The teen declined. I can understand, I know how I was raised, but Stranger Danger isn’t real!

I genuinely just wanted to help someone, and for completely altruistic reasons, but I guess in some cases that is not allowed.

Posted via email from grimmlock’s posterous

Despite passing within spitting distance of 15 churches while driving down a 1 mile stretch of road in Vienna, WV (Grand Central Ave), I know I am not the only one.

How maggotty is the Marietta – Williamstown – Vienna – Parkersburg – Belpre metroplex (haha) with churches?

To be honest, I lose count, but as far as the Abrahamic religions are concerned we have a church for every branch of Christianity, from your non-denominational to Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses and Messianic Jews. We are lacking in an actual synagogue (there is one based out of a house) or mosque (closest is Athens, OH), though.

So, what do I need your help with? Leaving the area? A friend of mine (she is South African and has a bitchin’ accent [do people say bitchin' anymore?]) once asked me why, if I was an Atheist, I lived in an area so full oy churches. I often wonder that myself, but I digress. I would like to start a freethinkers Meetup for the MOV (that means Mid-Ohio Valley).

I know the particulars about creating a meetup on the website, but before I do so I need assistance with planning aspects. Once upon a time, I used to be fairly social, but have become less so over the past few years, and even less than that over the last year. I have never been a big social planner, though.

Please, lend me assistance. Since I have never been to a meetup (I think there are 3 in my area) I know nothing about what people do at them or, well, anything about the planning aspect at all.

Please, my friends, I implore you, help me find that I am not alone in the MOV!

If you use Twitter I am sure you have seen, or heard, this at some point in time. I think I know why people say this.

Twitter, on the surface, appears to be extreme arrogance. If you look at the question on the site you see:

Admittedly this is better than the old, “What are you doing right now?” but still does not fully describe what Twitter is to those of us that use it and love it.
The reason I called Twitter extreme arrogance is because it makes it appear that we think others will care about the mundane minutiae of our lives. When someone first comes to Twitter they think they should post crap like, “Going to store to buy bread,” because they think that is what Twitter is all about.

It isn’t.

At least not for me.

I know there is talk all over the internet about using Twitter to market this and market that. About how it can make or break a movie or a new product because it is world wide word of mouth, but it isn’t even that to me either. Sure, if something news worthy is happening I’ll turn to Twitter to find out what is going on, but beyond that I don’t care about the stupid marketing crap.

I hate most of the celebrities and refuse to follow them, too.

The types of updates that I see people post on Twitter tend to fall more into the, “What’s On Your Mind Right Now?” variety. This is the exact some thing we do with our friends, or at least I do when I’m with them, but Twitter seems to follow more of a shotgun effect. Most people leave their filter behind. This is both good and bad, of course, but it is easy to learn to read the tweets you want and leave the rest behind.

When I look at Twitter, I see a community. A place to be able to interact with like minded individuals, and some not so like minded.

The people who I follow, who follow me back, and who I interact with on a regular basis (you know who you are) are people I am proud to call my friends, even though we only know each other through text on a screen. The reason for this is because they share the stuff that is on their mind and you can actually get to know them as a real person.

1. I got carded for a video game. Anyone who looks under 30? Must be the Dragonball Z t-shirt.

2. As I was heading to the exit, I saw a 10 year old kid with the beer pong game. I guess it is always good to start young so you are prepared for college.

3. Getting ready to pull out of the parking space, a van parks next to me, the trunk pops open, and kids pour out of the back off the floor boards. There was a full second row seat, but no third row seating.

Always a good idea to remain aware of what’s going on around you, because you never know what you will miss otherwise.

Posted via email from grimmlock’s posterous